We are all in this together

Okay, okay, I am obviously not doing very well at this. Life has been uber-crazy the last few weeks. I am swamped with work and school and family. Especially school. This is my first semester in nursing school, and I knew that it would be a challenge, but I did not expect it to be this much of a challenge. I literally have not had a moment to breathe in I don't know how long. I am not complaining. Please, don't get me wrong. I worked hard to get into the program and I knew that it would not be without it's difficult spots. I have quite an education under my belt already so I did think that it would be similar to the degrees that I have sought out before and achieved, but, boy, was I wrong! And the crazy thing is that this is supposed to be the easy semester, with 3 crazy semesters to come that will just keep getting worse and worse. Excuse me, I mean, more challenging. Ahem, my bad.

I have been struggling with what to do about my job. I love my job and where I work (labor and delivery) is where I want to be when I am done with school. But it is so hard to juggle work and school work. I'd love to drop down to prn (as needed) but I don't know if we can afford it. And let's not even talk about family. I love my family more than anything else and it is so hard to have to go to work when I haven't seen them in what feels like days, or to close myself off in a room to study when I hear them laughing and having a good time in the other room. I want to be where the laughter is, and drink in their joy, and hold on to the moments that I know all too well may not come around again. I know the value of each and every day with my children. Having lost a child - no I did not lose her, she is just not physically with us, but her spirit is with us always- I know the value of each day, each moment, with my children. But I am doing my darndest to make a better life for my family and that means some short-term sacrifices. I keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the long run and that this is what I am meant to do, that is what my angel C taught me, so I am powering on, doing my best to do it all, be it all, and ultimately have it all (in heaven, that is).

There are less than 2 weeks left to this semester. Two weeks, 4 tests, 500 miles of commuting back and forth to the college, lots and lots of caffeine, not nearly enough sleep, and a full-sized bottle of ibuprofen left. It will all be worth it, it will all be worth it, it will all be worth it. This is my mantra. And when the semester is done, there will be some shifts at work to help put a little something into my ever dwindling bank account, and then off for a cross-country drive to spend some time with my extended family for Christmas. I can't wait!

Keeping my eye on the prize! Hang in there with me. We are all in this together.