I. Am. So. Tired. I can not see straight any more. Work, school, home, family. All I want to do is crawl into bed and not come out for a few days. But tomorrow I get to battle a snowstorm to drive to class, only to battle the same storm to get back home to do home work that never seems to end, and housework that most definatley doesn't end but needs to be done because the cable guy is coming on Thursday to connect us to a new system that I will probably never get a chance to watch. I am sure the cable guy couldn't give a rat's patoot about the state of my home, but I do. And right now it looks like a pit. And this is only a drop in the bucket in what all I need to do. Just the thought makes me tired.
I am not complaining. I'm just sayin'. I am tired. I am going to bed now. Good night.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Friday, December 4, 2009
We are all in this together
Okay, okay, I am obviously not doing very well at this. Life has been uber-crazy the last few weeks. I am swamped with work and school and family. Especially school. This is my first semester in nursing school, and I knew that it would be a challenge, but I did not expect it to be this much of a challenge. I literally have not had a moment to breathe in I don't know how long. I am not complaining. Please, don't get me wrong. I worked hard to get into the program and I knew that it would not be without it's difficult spots. I have quite an education under my belt already so I did think that it would be similar to the degrees that I have sought out before and achieved, but, boy, was I wrong! And the crazy thing is that this is supposed to be the easy semester, with 3 crazy semesters to come that will just keep getting worse and worse. Excuse me, I mean, more challenging. Ahem, my bad.
I have been struggling with what to do about my job. I love my job and where I work (labor and delivery) is where I want to be when I am done with school. But it is so hard to juggle work and school work. I'd love to drop down to prn (as needed) but I don't know if we can afford it. And let's not even talk about family. I love my family more than anything else and it is so hard to have to go to work when I haven't seen them in what feels like days, or to close myself off in a room to study when I hear them laughing and having a good time in the other room. I want to be where the laughter is, and drink in their joy, and hold on to the moments that I know all too well may not come around again. I know the value of each and every day with my children. Having lost a child - no I did not lose her, she is just not physically with us, but her spirit is with us always- I know the value of each day, each moment, with my children. But I am doing my darndest to make a better life for my family and that means some short-term sacrifices. I keep telling myself that it will be worth it in the long run and that this is what I am meant to do, that is what my angel C taught me, so I am powering on, doing my best to do it all, be it all, and ultimately have it all (in heaven, that is).
There are less than 2 weeks left to this semester. Two weeks, 4 tests, 500 miles of commuting back and forth to the college, lots and lots of caffeine, not nearly enough sleep, and a full-sized bottle of ibuprofen left. It will all be worth it, it will all be worth it, it will all be worth it. This is my mantra. And when the semester is done, there will be some shifts at work to help put a little something into my ever dwindling bank account, and then off for a cross-country drive to spend some time with my extended family for Christmas. I can't wait!
Keeping my eye on the prize! Hang in there with me. We are all in this together.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Excuses, Excuses
So I haven't gotten off to a great start on this here blog. I have all kinds of fun posts that I want to write, but.....when it comes to getting them actually written and posted, I haven't been able to follow through. Why? Well, I am a little busy to say the least. I have been pulled in a bazillion different directions. Aren't we all, though? Enough with the whining. But I do promise to what I can, when I can, and hopefully it will all fall together in due time.
Here are just a few things heard in my home in the last few days:
From D, age 4 (going on 14): "Tighty whiteys! Gotta love 'em!" Followed almost immediately by: "What are tighty whiteys?"
From B, age 9: "What's the big deal about football? It's not nearly as fun as soccer, and it takes soooo long to play a game." This from a BOY, no less. Oh well, my children will not be sports afficionados.
From A, age 11: "Mom, can you get out of bed to take me to school? It's raining out." Yes, I got out of bed to take him to school. I was up late the night before studying. Yes, he could have taken the bus, and I could have rolled right back over and gone back to sleep. But I did not. I WANTED to, oh boy did I ever want to, but I got out of bed, threw on a sweatshirt over my jammies and took him to school. And I hoped that no one would see me. What we don't do for our kids, huh?!
Here are just a few things heard in my home in the last few days:
From D, age 4 (going on 14): "Tighty whiteys! Gotta love 'em!" Followed almost immediately by: "What are tighty whiteys?"
From B, age 9: "What's the big deal about football? It's not nearly as fun as soccer, and it takes soooo long to play a game." This from a BOY, no less. Oh well, my children will not be sports afficionados.
From A, age 11: "Mom, can you get out of bed to take me to school? It's raining out." Yes, I got out of bed to take him to school. I was up late the night before studying. Yes, he could have taken the bus, and I could have rolled right back over and gone back to sleep. But I did not. I WANTED to, oh boy did I ever want to, but I got out of bed, threw on a sweatshirt over my jammies and took him to school. And I hoped that no one would see me. What we don't do for our kids, huh?!
Monday, September 28, 2009
A Blog is Born, aka Happy Birthday to Me!
Today is my 35th birthday. Happy Birthday to me. I am not overly sure that I am happy about this particular birthday. I don't feel 35, and most people tell me that I look far younger (I hope that they weren't saying that just to be nice!). The last few years have been pretty tough for me and my family, and I am in the middle of many life changes. And I feel as though I am having a bit of a mid-life crisis. So what am I doing about it? I am starting a blog!
I used to write a blog, of sorts, and still do to a very small degree, but the purpose of that blog has come and gone (more on that another time). People told me that they enjoyed my writing and that I had a bit of a gift. I don't know how much of that is true, but I do have to say that I enjoy writing about the things that go on within my family. And I have been reading a lot of other blogs lately and found myself thinking about what I would write. A friend of mine also writes a blog and we have been talking about me doing one. Then one thing led to another and - ta da! - here is my blog. And it is my birthday, no less! So, what better reason to get it going!
I enjoy the various carnivals that go on on other blogs, so I think that I will start with a few of those while I stretch my blogging legs again. My plan is that this blog will be about my unique family and some of the crazy stuff that goes on within our too-small 4 walls. I'll start off explaining a little about our family and go from there! I am expecting the look of the blog to change a bit over time as I figure out how to do pictures and other fun stuff. So stay close by- you never know what will happen next!
Monday's are typically Not Me Mondays, courtesy of McMama (insert button here when I figure out how to do that!). I have been trying to figure out what to write today, but haven't figured out much yet. Perhaps my not me for today should be that I did not go out of my way to come up with something only to come up empty handed! Oh well, I am sure that in the next week there will be plenty of things to say now that I am keeping track.
So, welcome to my new blog (does it have that new blog smell still?). And happy birthday to me!
I used to write a blog, of sorts, and still do to a very small degree, but the purpose of that blog has come and gone (more on that another time). People told me that they enjoyed my writing and that I had a bit of a gift. I don't know how much of that is true, but I do have to say that I enjoy writing about the things that go on within my family. And I have been reading a lot of other blogs lately and found myself thinking about what I would write. A friend of mine also writes a blog and we have been talking about me doing one. Then one thing led to another and - ta da! - here is my blog. And it is my birthday, no less! So, what better reason to get it going!
I enjoy the various carnivals that go on on other blogs, so I think that I will start with a few of those while I stretch my blogging legs again. My plan is that this blog will be about my unique family and some of the crazy stuff that goes on within our too-small 4 walls. I'll start off explaining a little about our family and go from there! I am expecting the look of the blog to change a bit over time as I figure out how to do pictures and other fun stuff. So stay close by- you never know what will happen next!
Monday's are typically Not Me Mondays, courtesy of McMama (insert button here when I figure out how to do that!). I have been trying to figure out what to write today, but haven't figured out much yet. Perhaps my not me for today should be that I did not go out of my way to come up with something only to come up empty handed! Oh well, I am sure that in the next week there will be plenty of things to say now that I am keeping track.
So, welcome to my new blog (does it have that new blog smell still?). And happy birthday to me!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)